Next to the ’76 Chicago White Sox, the ’78 “Caribous of Colorado,” who lasted for only one season in the North American Soccer League, might have had the funniest uniforms in pro sports. Wikipedia: “The lasting legacy of the Caribous is one of the most unusual, infamous uniforms in soccer history. Going with a western-style motif, the players wore brown and tan jerseys that included a strip of leather fringe across the chest.” Have a nice wallow over here.

Albums of the Year 2009

1 – The Wax Wesleys – I’m Aware, I Don’t Care. Highlight: “Punch Me, I Would Like That.”

2 – Cathy Sinus – Faux Furs Electric Don’t Touch Don’t Look Wait Do Look. Highlight: “Animal Weapon Underthing.”

3 – First Clouds/Then Karo – Vibrato Envy. Highlight: “Never Bending.”

4 – The 3:12’ers – Synthpad Scripture. Highlight: “P.M.S. (Post Metrosexual).”

5 – The Cast from “Where the Wild Things Are” – Chant Lullabys Inspired by the Soundtrack to “Where the Wild Things Are.” Highlight: “I Seethe.”

6 – Sergei and Sarah Gu – Hear Us Swallow. Highlight: “Under My Tongue.”

7 – The Killtwisters – Whiskey Wizard. Highlight: “You Put the Q in Quaver.”

8 – Agronomy – Growbot. Highlight: “Percolation Fortnight.”

9 – Traviz Milk-it featuring Malt-O-Meel – In Pieces, In Peace. Highlight: “My Components, Version 3 (KitchenAde Remix).”

10 – Affectation Station – Invocation to the Station. Highlight: “Affectation Station Celebration.”

11 – The Slumberites – The Dour Masochist’s Mystery. Highlight: “Elmer Fudd Reverie.”

12 – Elko – American Asphalt Mile By Mile. Highlight: “My Longest Hour (Acoustic Version).”

Note: OK, they’re all fake, so no need for researching. But haha! I tricked you. Just be glad I opted out on the fake blurbs.

posted by Kim Simpson

This chubby alphabet book is out of print but well worth the effort to dig up. It’s a classic. Some sample entries:

“Airplane: in his airplane Santa Claus seems happy. But how many people really know if they are happy?
…
Artichoke: artichokes have no connection at all with Santa Claus. They do not make good presents, and you cannot make a Santa out of an artichoke.
…
Bottom: in Africa there are nasty monkeys who display their bottoms to Santa. This is neither very nice nor very polite. That’s why they never get presents.
…
Confuse: sometimes Santa’s elves disguise themselves as red-and-white toadstools. It is important not to get the two things confused and, above all, not to eat either one, because you could die.
…
Fortunate: it is fortunate that Santa Claus doesn’t have a daughter. It is obvious how he would dress her, and she would run the risk of being eaten by a wolf.”

posted by Kim Simpson