This is the only Alice Cooper song I ever lived. Too young to have taken in his shock-rock heyday in real time (only through my friends’ big brothers’ record collections), “Clones” is the song that blasted irresistibly at the roller rink and circled around and around in my head until I’d finally drop allowance money on the 45. Outside Skateland, though, Alice was being run down for losing his balance in a disorienting new decade.

Alice Cooper – “Clones (We’re All)” (1980)

How is it that “Outside Chance,” written by Warren Zevon (going by his ’60s stage name Lyme), never charted at all? At least the White Whale label valued the recording enough to toughen up the Turtles’ 1967 Golden Hits with it. It’s otherwise tricky sorting through the group’s catalog, in which so many worthwhile outtakes show up alongside officially released tracks on post-breakup compilations. (In the Lloyd Thaxton Show clip below, lead singer Howard Kaylan here reminds me vaguely of the mid-sixties Wayne Newton.)

The Turtles – “Outside Chance” (from The Lloyd Thaxton Show, 1965)

The Hot Dogs were Ardent label mates with Big Star. But when I bought this in my teens from a used record bin, I hadn’t yet heard of Big Star, so I thought the album might sound like a lesser Brewer and Shipley. It ended up winning me over from the start with its opening title track – an epic pop rock ballad that you’d swear features some of the strings and woodwinds the liner notes credit to Memphis State University, even though the track doesn’t.

The Hot Dogs – “Say What You Mean” (1973)

The Orioles had that irresistible pattern: Sonny Til taking the lead vocal and, by the time of the second bridge, when you’ve already begun falling under their spell, baritone George Nelson (not pictured on the sleeve above) stepping in and claiming you for good.

Were these UK pub prodigies singing about Nixon? In any case, it’s the song that plays in my head whenever the current Vice President weighs in on anything. We all cope in different ways.

The Winkies – “Trust in Dick” (1975)

Beach Boy dad Murry Wilson focused on managing and producing this group, best known for their “I Live for the Sun,” after his sons fired him. But the notoriously heavy handed patriarch is remembered as being always on his best behavior around the Sunrays. This dizzy single is one of that group’s very last creations.

I’ve got a Rhino compilation from 1984 with this on it and here’s what the liner notes reveal:

“This trio of honky tonk hipsters played the beer joints in the Salt Lake City area of Utah, and in 1959 they recorded this song for R.J. Wooten’s GRC label. Radio programmers in Robert Hall Suits weren’t ready for this!”

I grew up in Salt Lake and I can assure you that if you’ve ever wondered who the all-time reigning rock kings of the SLC scene might be, you’ll never need to wonder again after listening to this shredder.

Update: Sources tell me the record actually came out in 1960.

Three Aces and a Joker – “Sleigh Bell Rock”

If you told me it was actually Bob Barker singing with Rosemary, I’d believe it. Sounds like him, doesn’t it?

This plays right after James Coburn learns he’ll be analyst to the president of the U.S. He walks down the DC city streets with a big smile and eventually enjoys a soft-lit roll with his lady friend by the song’s end.

Merry Christmas from a flaming skull.

Manfred Mann – “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”